Wednesday, May 26, 2010

How Does One Choose a Child?

We didn’t know the answer.

Staring at sweet faces, perusing profiles for birth stats and medical info, trying to make sense of it all... orphans... left behind because of their disabilities. Which one was meant to be my child? I stressed, I cried, I prayed for peace.

In February, I found Arina from Russia. In all my visits to RR I had never seen her before and something about her struck me. I wondered if I had found my baby. I googled her name. It is Greek and means “peace”.

Our family agreed that she was meant to be ours and we initiated the adoption process. I’ll skip the parts about the placement agency stringing us along for ten weeks... Finally another placement agency delivered the news that Arina was no longer available. We will never know why. A hard and tear-filled weekend followed.

I thought about our selection process... about why I was even trying to choose a child... about why we were adopting... I was looking for an augury... pictures, birthdays, names... divine guidance of a sort. I was looking for the perfect child for us. How typical of me to want to do God’s work my way.

On the following Monday, Andrea contacted us about Peach. While my husband and I were talking it over, she emailed about Mallory. We weren’t looking at three year olds. We weren’t looking for an infant with a life-threatening heart defect. We weren’t looking for two children.

But then again, when I was pregnant with our babies, we weren’t “looking” for any specific child. We were ready and willing to take the children God sent to us. We talked about this, together realizing that we were not able to know how to choose a child and so we trusted that God had chosen for us (um, no, I’m not saying Andrea is God, though she sure is his hands and feet.)

Once we decided to take them, I was overwhelmed with love for them and my husband was filled with hope for them. With love and hope came peace, and so my prayer was answered after all.

13 comments:

DownTownDan said...

Such sweet sentiment. I always wondered how a person actually goes about the process of choosing a child. By what criteria does one select one needy orphan over another? I see now that they were chosen for you. Seems like that makes things a bit easier. Thank you so much for sharing.
:)

Cole said...

I love that you have found peace with it. God speed those sweet ones to you.

Rochelle said...

Awesome post, thank you for sharing your adoption journey with us and for listening to God's calling to bring these two girls home.

The Sanchez Family said...

Love this...I too believe that it's almost beyond our control who is "chosen" for us more than who we choose....I love how Peach and Mallory entered your life...I also immediately thought of you when I was reading Peach's story...and Mallory...well she is just going to be the breath of fresh air for your family...that smile and spirit just leap off the page. I love that you will have a trio of girls with DS...oh the joy your house will have! I absolutely LOVE it!

To Love Endlessly said...

Beautiful post! We'll be praying all the doors continue to open to bring these beautiful girls home to their family.

laurasue said...

We are adopting Liza, Ashleigh and Marshall from the same orphanage. Maybe we'll get to see each other when we're there! God bless.

Kellan's momma said...

I am so excited to follow your journey! You are amazing, and doing what I dream of! My prayers will be with you and the girls until they are safe in your arms!

Lu, Poppies Blooming said...

This is so lovely! Thank you for sharing this. I am going to email you as well about the blog design! :) I have a few ideas and fun things :)

Lu

Looking Up said...

Thanks so much for sharing your story with us. I'm hoping that you will be able to bring the girls home soon so that Peach can get her surgery ASAP. My son had open heart surgery when he was 3 months old, but you would never know it to look at my happy, active little boy today! Praying for you....

Lisa said...

It seems that Arina played the role she was meant to play...my hope is that someone else loved her too & got to her first...but that she was the push you needed to begin thinking about Peach and Mallory.

I have a post slated for Alina's blog that covers our thoughts on how the children arrive in our lives that are meant to be there...and how we don't *choose* our children. Parenting is like picking up the Grab Bag at the dime store. We have no idea what's in it for us...

All people have worth and potential. We're lucky to be able to see that...Bridget and Summer had their own part in opening our eyes and hearts to make way for our newest daughters. What a neat connection.

I am so glad these little girls are already part of your life. You are all richly blessed...

Kim K said...

I saw a comment on the RR blog, from Andrea, about peach. Mentioning a small left ventricle. I know you are still months away from having your baby in your arms, but I wanted to share important information. Our son, Will, with Ds and a hypoplastic (big word for small, underdeveloped) ventricle, was on a single ventricle surgical route. This includes 3 surgeries, called Fontan surgeries. Unfortunately, although DS kids do well with the actual fontan surgeries, it is not a great long term solution. BUT there is a new movement for kids with DS....a ventricle growth procedure. Kids with Ds react very very well. My son now has 4 chambers...a miracle, he is doing so well. When once he was told he would likely live to his school age/teen years, he is now prognosed to live a full life span for a person with DS.
Will is not the only one...Luke, Gabe, Tucker, Anna, Shawn, Ellis Anne...are just a few that I know. Most of these kids needed to travel to Childrens Hospital of Boston, just as we did. Surgeon, Dr. Pedro del Nido
University of MI-Dr. Bove, is also doing this for kids with DS as well.
I just wanted to let you know that Peach has a wonderful future. Now, while you have the time, is perfect time to learn about DS, the Fontan series, and a Bi-ventricle repair.
If you would like to learn more from me, email me kknipp@kc.rr.com or go to Will's carepage www.carepages.com page name HeWill. I can give you the other kids' a mentioned above, page names and their moms email addresses too. We are a tight bunch and talk on nearly a daily basis.
Congrats on both your new babies. ANd KNOW God has a wonderful future for both...
For the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.
Plans to give you hope and a future, You will seek me and you will find me, when you seek me with your WHOLE heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13
This is a verse that we held dear to us, as Will traveled in the journey to his whole heart.
many prayers, Kim

Sandie Flannery said...

I will be traveling to your girl's orphanage on a Mission Trip June 12 and hope to meet your girls and gather as much information and pictures as possible for you! God Bless you for what you are doing! ServingSpecialOrphans.blogspot.com
Sandie Flannery Early Intervention Specialist

Heather said...

We looked at Mallory and inquired about her. She's so adorable. It was only a few days later that we found out that Tatiana was God's choice for us! It's so interesting how you just KNOW!

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