Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Not Doing It

I am a planner by nature... okay maybe not a planner, but more of a fantasizer. I daydream a good portion of my future actions, playing it out this way or that way, and our time at the orphanage was no exception.

I was dressing the girls in fancy outfits I brought from home. Changing their very wet diapers, feeding them yogurts and applesauce, fixing their hair, doing EI therapy with them... All the while my husband was dutifully photographing these adventures so that I could share it all with you on this blog.

But I’m not doing it. None of it. Partially because they come to us well- (and over-) dressed, with diapers that don’t stink, and hair that is impossibly soft and short... and it is always either lunchtime or dinner time right before or after we visit, and we dare not ruin a child’s well trained appetite. So it just doesn’t seem necessary.

But I know that it is more than that. These are last days, and for that reason they are special days. The women who watch over and care for our children know this. They present our girls to us with pride... in clean clothes and with clean faces. They tell our children encouraging words, though we can only pick out a cheerful “mama” and “papa”. Then they wait just that extra second to enjoy (and maybe evaluate) our reactions before shuffling off to do more work in another room.

I realized that out of respect and thankfulness I cannot redress these children, change their diapers or shoes, fix their hair a different way, or feed them anything other than a little drink of water or a bite of apple from a tree on the grounds. This “doing nothing” is one of the only ways I know of to show my appreciation for all that they have done for my children while they were motherless.

And besides, if I was changing things up, you would be missing out on some very hilarious fashion-statements... which will be fun for me to look back on when perusing the scrapbook pages I am dreaming up for them. Really, would you rather see Peach in some adorable little Carter’s outfit, or dressed up as...

Peach the Blue-Headed Polar Bear

polarbear

14 comments:

Cathy said...

I'm so thankful that your angels have been so well cared for. What a blessing! I was showing my hubby the "eye candy" photos you put up the other day. He commented on how your husband was dressed compared to how the girls were dressed. I explained to him how they bundle the kids up even when it's warm...lol.

Rachel said...

What a kind and respectful thing for you to do and such a gift to these ladies. Just curious what the temp is like over there right now? I would be sweating if I were Peach!

Rochelle said...

Oh that will definitely be a scrapable picture. LOL.
I too am thankful that they are taking good care of the girls.

Lacey said...

Look at that gorgeous blue headed polar bear!

Ria said...

She's just gorgeous!!

The Sanchez Family said...

It's wonderful that you are respecting them like that! So kind and thoughtful of you!!! I'm afraid I didn't do the same but I think our caretakers liked to see Sofia in her "own" clothing and it helped them to "see" her in a new light. As a child loved and wanted by a family. I think they got a kick out of the clothing we brought for her and dressed her in and we always got "oooohhhs" and "aaahhhhs" when we put on her own polka dot jacket and pink hat (that actually fit her) :) And you know that I was SO EAGER to dress up a girl after my three boys and I believe it was crucial for me in my bonding with Sofia...I needed to do something for her so I felt like her mama!!! Enjoy these precious last few days and I can't wait to see them in your arms forever!

Leah and Tony Beasley said...

Im so happy for you guys. I hope you guys get to meet up with Daryas family. When we were there adopting our 3 babies we were not able to meet up with others, It would have really helped us. Your babies are sooo cute!! You guys are truly blessed. It makes me want to adopt all over again. Praying for a safe journey. Enjoy every moment there because the memories will last forever!!

TUC said...

Lol, Jennifer, you are the reason I spent my days picturing my babies all dressed up like Sofia. But, this orphanage and the weather here just doesn't lend itself to that. One day when our visit with Masha was over, I could tell her diaper was very wet and we had let her drink water... so I gave a diaper to her groupa when I handed her over, and she waved me off. She wanted me to know that they have everything Masha needs. So I am a teensy bit jealous that I will not end up with amazing pics like you guys got!

Leah, we bumped in to Marianne and Joel on the street yesterday and then met them and a few other families out last night. It has been a lot of fun sharing experiences with other adopting families. Since we have spent time with 6 other families so far, I will probably end up writing a post about it.

annie said...

Oh, I am just eating this up! What a wonderful experience. God bless you for having the courage to go. I hope I can do the same one day. The girls are just darling.

L.L. Barkat said...

I love the way you think. It's very honoring.

Well, not the part about the blue-headed polar bear. that was FUNNY! :)

Sandie Flannery said...

You two are wonderfully sensitive and I know the women there are very proud of the care they give the children. And they love them so! Thanks for respecting that! It must be bittersweet for them which is probally why they present with a 'cold' attitude and appear suspect of the parents. We found out they are warm blooded and 'real people' too!! Take LOTS of pictures in the get ups because once they start dressing themselves it'll bring back memories you will want to revisit!!I never quite figured out the 'over dressing' while I was there!!

Tina said...

Look at that beautiful "blue headed" polar bear. Soon you will have full liscense to dress her any way you want. I too think it's very kind that you are not taking away anything from these temporary mothers who cared and loved your babies the best they could. I can't wait to see themn blossoming once you have them all for yourself!

Browning said...

Loved it! Love that you have a sweet spirit - it was a good lesson for me as we prepare to go get Matthew and Ivanna.
Kiss that baby Peach for me. How I prayed for her when her profile went up.

Melissa M said...

It is so nice to hear how well taken care of your girls were, and I love the blue headed bear!

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